The Nature of Grief
Grief is the deep emotional suffering caused by loss. Most commonly associated with the death of a loved one, grief can also arise from other significant losses — the end of a relationship or divorce, the loss of a job or career, a serious medical diagnosis, estrangement from family, the loss of a cherished dream, or any event that fundamentally changes your life and sense of identity. There is no single "right way" to grieve, and the process looks different for every person.
Dr. Stephanie L. Cornette, Psy.D., offers grief and loss counseling at her Chicago practice. She understands that grief is deeply personal and that healing does not follow a predictable timeline. Her approach is rooted in compassion, respect for your individual process, and the belief that with proper support, it is possible to integrate loss into your life and move forward with purpose and meaning.
Understanding the Grief Process
While grief is highly individual, researchers have identified common patterns and phases that many people experience. It is important to note that these are not rigid stages that everyone passes through in order — grief is often nonlinear, with people moving between different emotional states unpredictably.
Shock and Denial
In the immediate aftermath of a loss, it is common to feel numb, disoriented, or unable to accept what has happened. This initial response is a natural protective mechanism that buffers the full impact of the loss. You may go through the motions of daily life while feeling disconnected from reality.
Pain and Guilt
As the shock wears off, the full weight of the loss begins to set in. This phase often involves intense emotional pain, longing, and sometimes guilt — replaying conversations, wondering "what if," or feeling responsible in some way. Physical symptoms such as fatigue, insomnia, loss of appetite, and a weakened immune system are common during this period.
Anger and Bargaining
Anger is a natural part of grief, though it can be directed at many targets — the person who died, oneself, medical professionals, God, or the world in general. Bargaining involves "if only" thinking, imagining scenarios that might have prevented the loss. Understanding that anger is a normal grief response, rather than something to suppress, is an important part of the healing process. Anger management techniques can help if intense anger becomes difficult to manage.
Depression and Reflection
A period of deep sadness and withdrawal is a common and necessary part of grief. This is different from clinical depression, though grief can sometimes develop into a depressive disorder if symptoms persist and intensify over time. During this phase, it is important to allow yourself to feel the sadness while also maintaining a connection to supportive people in your life.
Acceptance and Integration
Acceptance does not mean "getting over" the loss or no longer feeling sadness. Rather, it involves integrating the reality of the loss into your life, finding ways to honor the relationship or experience, and gradually re-engaging with life in a meaningful way. This process can take months or years and is deeply personal.
Types of Loss Dr. Cornette Can Help With
Bereavement
Death of a spouse, partner, parent, child, sibling, close friend, or other significant person. Whether the loss was sudden or anticipated, grief counseling provides a space to process complex emotions.
Relationship Loss
Divorce, separation, breakups, or estrangement from family members involve significant grief, including loss of shared future plans, daily companionship, and identity as part of a couple or family unit.
Health-Related Loss
Receiving a serious medical diagnosis, losing physical capabilities, or watching a loved one's health decline involves a grief process that is often unacknowledged but deeply felt.
Life Transitions
Job loss, retirement, children leaving home, relocation, or any major life change can trigger grief for the life you had before. Parenting transitions such as adoption or custody changes also involve complex emotional adjustments.
When Grief Needs Professional Support
While grief is a normal process, there are times when professional support is particularly beneficial. Consider seeking counseling if you are experiencing any of the following:
- Intense grief that does not diminish over time or seems to worsen
- Difficulty functioning at work, in relationships, or in daily activities
- Persistent feelings of guilt, anger, or bitterness related to the loss
- Withdrawal from social connections and activities you previously enjoyed
- Turning to alcohol, drugs, or other unhealthy coping mechanisms
- Prolonged difficulty sleeping, eating, or taking care of your health
- Feeling that life has no meaning or purpose without the person or thing you lost
- Symptoms of depression or anxiety that seem connected to the loss
Dr. Cornette's Approach to Grief Counseling
Dr. Cornette creates a safe, nonjudgmental space where clients can express the full range of their grief — sadness, anger, confusion, guilt, relief, and everything in between. Her wholistic approach recognizes that grief affects every aspect of a person's life and tailors treatment accordingly.
Therapy may involve exploring the meaning of the loss, processing difficult emotions, challenging unhelpful thought patterns through cognitive techniques, developing healthy coping strategies, rebuilding a sense of identity and purpose, and gradually reconnecting with life in meaningful ways. Dr. Cornette respects each client's pace and never pushes people to "move on" before they are ready.
For some clients, grief may trigger or worsen other mental health conditions. Dr. Cornette's background in treating depression, anxiety, and mood disorders ensures that the full scope of each client's needs is addressed. Psychological testing may be recommended when it would be helpful to clarify diagnostic questions.
Find Support Through Your Grief
You do not have to navigate grief alone. Dr. Cornette provides a compassionate, supportive environment where healing is possible at your own pace.
Call (773) 988-7144